Press Interpreter

01/18/05 -- I am rarely amused by the jokes or video clips that friends email me, but not long ago I could not help but smile at a clip of a Swedish commercial I received. In the commercial a young father is strolling through a supermarket with his son. Suddenly the child is attracted by some chocolate on a store shelf. Tugging on his father's sleeve, he says, "Dad, can I have some chocolate?" "Not now! It's almost dinnertime." Hearing this, the little fellow wrinkles his eyebrows. "But I want some! I want some!" His yawping grows louder and louder. He lies down on the ground crying and making a scene. The crowd of onlookers grows. The young father is completely embarrassed. He looks as if he wishes he could find a crevice to hide in. The camera turns away and the following message appears: "Please use condoms."

The West Does Not Have Swaddling Clothes

This commercial made a strong impression on me. I believe that every European and American parent is familiar with that kind of situation. But do Chinese parents experience such awkward scenes? Sometimes I think that the answer is no. The first time I visited China, in 1988, one of my impressions was that -- Chinese children are too obedient.

Unlike the children of white people, Chinese children do not dash around when not supposed to, shout, or drive people crazy. They just stand quietly over there, or play with their toys, or wait without making a sound for their parents to finish their work and attend to them. They never cry!

From that time on I fell in love with China's miserable and lovely little children. Often when watching these children at play I want to know why China's children are quiter and more obedient than western children. Is it an ethnic characteristic or a result of the environment in which they are raised?

There are real differences between the concepts of childrearing in China and in the west. There is a famous photograph of a Chinese newborn wrapped tightly like a postal package in swaddling clothes, completely unable to move. That photo is a true depiction of Chinese practice in the 1980s. I don't know if this kind of wrapping of children has persisted through the present day.

Whenever I imagine myself in the position of that child in the photo, without the freedom to stretch my arms or kick my legs for the first few months of life, I imagine that I would feel that my entire body was unfree. In the west, people would absolutely never wrap their children in that way. Western parents use a brace similar to a pocket to hold children, which allows the head, arms, and legs to move freely. Most parents sometimes allow a newborn to lie on her stomach by putting hands around the child's abdomen. They do not forever try to keep a child lying on its back as Chinese parents do. Western parents encourage children to grasp objects as early as possible.

When a child is learning to walk, Chinese parents generally put the child in a safe walker. They also constantly warn children not to touch things. Western parents choose to allow their children to follow their interests by picking up things from the ground that attract them and to find out what after all they are. When a child is in an open space and wants to run and jump around, a Chinese parent, worried that the child will fall down, will tell the child "don't run around!" before the child has lifted a leg. Western parents will assume that children should romp around as much as they can, when they fall they will pick themselves up. They hope that if a child plays hard she will go to bed a little bit earlier in the evening.

Even Once Chinese People Start Working, Their Hearts Are Still Wrapped in Swaddling Clothes

We see from this that the difference between Chinese and western children is mostly the result of different methods of parental care. A child that is obedient, never talks back, and always sits in a corner smiling like an angel is the dream of every family in the world. But is this dream a pretty one? Ignorant families want to control their poor children. If children always defer to their parents' orders, what kind of creativity or independent spirit will they have when they grow up?

Of course I was a naughty little devil as a child. But once I turned 16 I started to earn money on my own and to take care of myself. When I turned 18 I moved out of my parents' home to live by myself. I was a headache for my parents because I wouldn't obey them, but later they understood that by being exposed to the vicissitudes of an independent life, I learned early on how to take care of myself, how to respond to this complicated life. This provided not insignificant benefits to me later on. I will give this valuable experience to my children.

In Hong Kong there are many companies with both Chinese and foreign employees. In such firms management always complains that Chinese employees lack the ability to think independently. These Chinese employees are very obedient. When they get an order they absolutely will not question it. But, if they are asked to rapidly and expertly implement the order, the boss will have to tell them "what to do," giving a detailed explanation of every step. Foreign employees are different. When they get an order, they will constantly ask "why are we doing it this way?" until they are satisfied by management's response. Then they will independently implement the request. I wonder whether this difference between Chinese and foreign employees does not have something to do with whether the employees were wrapped in swaddling clothes as children.

Today's Chinese only-children are even more like this. From the moment of birth their parents and grandparents -- all six family members -- are at their sides, feeding them, taking care of thier education. How can a child raised in this way be asked to continue the outstanding traditions of the Chinese people -- to suffer and toil, to be wise?

Even though my boyfriends over the past 16 years have all been Chinese, I don't think I will marry and have children with a Chinese man. I can't imagine what a disaster that would be! Until our child is grown, my husband would do the utmost to keep the child at his side and shout at him to "not run about because it's too dangerous!" While I would shout "you're already 20 years old, what are you doing still living at home?" (dzyccc)

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Source: China Blog

[This article appeared on the website of Phoenix TV, a Hong Kong based satellite television station that serves greater China.]

--Translated by Ramsi Woodcock

This article was translated using the Translation Wiki ( http://www.translationwiki.net ). To see the original text side by side with the translation and to make additions or improvements, go to the Translation Wiki for this article: http://www.translationwiki.net/index2.php?action=trans&type=view&id=76#1515 (works best in Firefox, http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/ ).

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